I've finally cleared up my soundtrack from crazy techno house to smooth classic jazz. Canada guy texted me a couple of days ago. He's back in town. I suggested we meet up soon and texted him a couple of funny pics. Our second date was a blast, however, I think it's his turn now. And, of course, my text was the last one. Playing by the rules now.
Went on a date today with a cute Brazilian guy. We sat on a rooftop in Midtown sipping on cocktails. He asked if he could kiss me... It was a nice and romantic touch and a great evening. I found myself walking the streets of New York past 1am, single but not alone. Because this city got my back.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Emotional Manipulation and Overlappers
Emotional manipulation can be sometimes very hard to spot. I once dated a guy who said a bunch of crazy things and listening to my friend's advice just ignore it, he's got a little mess in his head but nothing crazy you can't deal with, I simply ignored many of the crazy things that should have been nipped in the bud. Here's a list of things I identified and complied to be wary of:
- Our first couple of weeks dating and spending nights at my place. I noticed he was using my toothbrush to brush his teeth. Eek! The next day I bought him a toothbrush and we he went to brush his teeth he said: "Oh, you got me a toothbrush? Is that because you think I'm dirty?"
- He had a rash around his thighs. He was taking yoga classes and sweating profusely and that happens, especially if you wear tight clothes. I explained to him many possible reasons for that. He said: "How often do you wash your sheets?" Not acceptable. "How often do you wash yours?", given the fact that we never hung out at his place.
- My apartment was a little bit messy one night. He entered the door: "Oh, looks like you've been expecting me!" (sarcastically). In the morning, he tried to do push-ups: "hmmm. I guess no exercise today. Your floors are kind of dirty."
- After a long day on the beach. We come back to my place, I jump into the shower and ask him to make us a couple of cocktails. I get out of the shower and notice he's totally relaxed on my couch, playing on his phone and no cocktails in sight. I ask: "Where are the cocktails?", he replies: "I'm a guest in your house. Don't talk to me like that." I make the cocktails.
- At one time I noticed the unbalanced relationship we were having in terms of him being always over at my place and my never staying over at his apartment. I voiced out my concerns in a long telephone conversation, he couldn't really come up with any solution and just wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible. The next morning I get a set of texts ranging from "I don't deserve you, you're probably right." to "All I need right now is a good friend. I am not in a very good place right now in my life." I should have ended it right there. Yet, I kept going and begging for more.
- On our last night I told him his texts were emotionally manipulative. He defended himself and turned the tables around. The next morning he dumped me unbeknownst to me. He was dating someone else and I wasn't. That was my biggest mistake.
- Our first couple of weeks dating and spending nights at my place. I noticed he was using my toothbrush to brush his teeth. Eek! The next day I bought him a toothbrush and we he went to brush his teeth he said: "Oh, you got me a toothbrush? Is that because you think I'm dirty?"
- He had a rash around his thighs. He was taking yoga classes and sweating profusely and that happens, especially if you wear tight clothes. I explained to him many possible reasons for that. He said: "How often do you wash your sheets?" Not acceptable. "How often do you wash yours?", given the fact that we never hung out at his place.
- My apartment was a little bit messy one night. He entered the door: "Oh, looks like you've been expecting me!" (sarcastically). In the morning, he tried to do push-ups: "hmmm. I guess no exercise today. Your floors are kind of dirty."
- After a long day on the beach. We come back to my place, I jump into the shower and ask him to make us a couple of cocktails. I get out of the shower and notice he's totally relaxed on my couch, playing on his phone and no cocktails in sight. I ask: "Where are the cocktails?", he replies: "I'm a guest in your house. Don't talk to me like that." I make the cocktails.
- At one time I noticed the unbalanced relationship we were having in terms of him being always over at my place and my never staying over at his apartment. I voiced out my concerns in a long telephone conversation, he couldn't really come up with any solution and just wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible. The next morning I get a set of texts ranging from "I don't deserve you, you're probably right." to "All I need right now is a good friend. I am not in a very good place right now in my life." I should have ended it right there. Yet, I kept going and begging for more.
- On our last night I told him his texts were emotionally manipulative. He defended himself and turned the tables around. The next morning he dumped me unbeknownst to me. He was dating someone else and I wasn't. That was my biggest mistake.
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