I went on a couple of dates this week. Still thinking about that Toronto guy, something attracted me to him: his goofiness, his aloof behavior, his ability to make snide and quirky remarks. He's coming back on the 3rd and I'm waiting for something to happen. Although, my expectations may be futile, it's nice to have a little hope.
Date #1 this week was a physician assistant from PA. He seemed so nice, we instantly hit it off with a good conversation flowing until we made it to my favorite Italian place on McDougal St. Then, our conversation started to wind down bit by bit until I just wanted to get out of there. He told me he'd recently come out and I understood that I do not want to deal with his issue of sexual identity. No, thank you. I'm not going to be your therapist or your good friend. I want someone who's romantically interested in me.
Date#2 It's a perfect conversation. We talk about our families. He smiles and looks me in the eyes. We have direct eye contact throughout most of the conversation. He seems very genuine and interested. He has a nice job, he's been in NYC for 5 years and seems to love it. He has his own place and everything about him seems to scream "check, check, check!" I don't feel there's any physical attraction. I don't want to kiss him, I don't want to give him any physical touch. Is that bad? That's the first honest and free flowing conversation I've had in a long time. Yet, I don't want this guy.
Am I still getting over my break-up? Am I bringing my emotional baggage into the picture? Am I ready to date? One of my best friends recommends I take a break and start working on myself and start doing something I actually love. Time to think and maybe, indeed, take a break from the dating scene.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
Two Dates and Radio Silence
So, it's been two dates so far. On our first date, we went to a nice whiskey bar I suggested. We ordered drinks and talked non-stop for almost 2.5 hours. I closed the date with a kiss and a 40-minute bus ride, simply because I did not want to take the subway with him.
There was a nice three-day pause before our second date. We met for a coffee on the UES and made our way to Central Park. There, lying on the lawn, we watched the sky and talked about our mothers. That was a very romantic touch and I totally owe it to him since he was the one who suggested it.
Him: What do you want to do next?
Me: I don't know. What about you?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Well, isn't that a good answer? (I laugh).
I invite him to a film festival in Brooklyn. We take the train, talk and laugh. The festival was amazing and we had drinks afterward. Looking at each other in a state of confused shyness. There were long pauses, yet dextrously interrupted by his goofy comments that made me sincerely laugh. On the train home, we shared funny pics on our iPhones and short laughs. I kissed him goodnight and asked him when he was coming back from Canada. I sent him a funny video the next morning I'd promised to send earlier. No reply. He's going to be gone for a week. I like him, however, I'm too scared to like someone these days when people's intentions are so unpredictable. Thoughts?
There was a nice three-day pause before our second date. We met for a coffee on the UES and made our way to Central Park. There, lying on the lawn, we watched the sky and talked about our mothers. That was a very romantic touch and I totally owe it to him since he was the one who suggested it.
Him: What do you want to do next?
Me: I don't know. What about you?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Well, isn't that a good answer? (I laugh).
I invite him to a film festival in Brooklyn. We take the train, talk and laugh. The festival was amazing and we had drinks afterward. Looking at each other in a state of confused shyness. There were long pauses, yet dextrously interrupted by his goofy comments that made me sincerely laugh. On the train home, we shared funny pics on our iPhones and short laughs. I kissed him goodnight and asked him when he was coming back from Canada. I sent him a funny video the next morning I'd promised to send earlier. No reply. He's going to be gone for a week. I like him, however, I'm too scared to like someone these days when people's intentions are so unpredictable. Thoughts?
Social responsibility
In light of my past epic fail of an attempt at a relationship, I got to thinking about social responsibility. As we were walking to the City Center with my best friend a month ago, I asked her about her view on the "last conversation" preceding a break-up. My upbringing dictates a certain sense of obligation to your significant other to dignify him with a face-to-face conversation, especially if you've spent a considerable amount of time together and have lived through rough experiences. As we were turning around the corner on 53rd St, my bestie noted: "No one owes you anything." I was flummoxed, yet acquiesced. What if it's a socially responsible thing to do? Aren't there any obligations between us, as members of society? She digressed with a smirk. It got me thinking. Indeed, we do not owe anyone anything, unless they extend us the same social responsibility that we extend to them.
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