3 dates, 3 misses

Catching up on my dating escapades.
#1

Mr. Clone from my Nob Hill open house, because he looks exactly like one of the guys I used to date, canceled on my Thursday invitation to go out. What's more surprising, he offered me to bring him breakfast the same instance, alluding to me being "heartbroken" because of his last-minute cancellation. Awkward. You cancel and then you want me to bring you something? Nah. That doesn't work that way. So, I just put a smiley in reply. That's the safest way to eject yourself from a conversation like that. He's probably going on a business trip somewhere but I didn't quite catch it. I'll keep him for now. Just pure entertainment.

#2

Since my Thursday night plans were under a major threat, I had to seek out an emergency substitution date. There was this Serbian guy I found on Tinder, sending me extraterrestrial signals the other day, I had kind of written him off. But! An emergency asks for desperate measures. So, I asked him if he wanted to go out. He agreed. A total loser. He kept staring at his cellphone, showed me a picture of his ex a couple of times admiring his ex's six-pack, and kept bragging about how awesome his social life was. Checked in on Facebook several times and kept taking pics of the club non-stop. He decided to end the night prematurely (we didn't even sit through the rest of the concert) and kissed me on the cheek.

The next morning I get a series of texts:

Mr. Serb: We're going out to ------ tonight. Or I can just blow you in the car.
Mr. Serb:  But you have to show me your cock before I commit.
Me: You get an A in flirting!
Mr. Serb: I'm just subtle.
Me: So I've noticed.

I don't condone scabrousness. Sorry.

#3

The same day I got a message on OkC from a guy somewhere in Contra Costa County. He wanted to meet up and go on a date. I decided why not. Let's try out some suburban folks for a change. He asked me what kind of food I liked and we settled on an Italian restaurant in Walnut Creek. If would've been better if I had just stayed at home. He literally had three poor neurons desperate to get euthanized. 

Chatted up with two guys on OkC tonight. Going on two dates tomorrow. Time will tell.

Hot Dude

I was at another open house today. While waiting for the landlady to come down, we all starting chatting with each other. There was this really hot New Yorker who was paying a lot of attention to another female in our company. He's one of those who aren't shy about themselves and know they are sexy and they own it. I wondered if he was straight but, probably, judging by his overwhelming attention to a female in our small company, I can't conclude otherwise. 

The apartment was awesome.

City, I want to come back!

As I was waking up this morning from some awkward gestures occurring to my genitalia twenty floors above the ground in Nob Hill, I was thinking... I do miss the city. I miss cities in general. I am the fifth generation in my family to be born in one of the largest metropolises of the world and it's embedded in my blood. Sirens, traffic noise, and constant crowds.

My yesterday went well as you can judge from the first paragraph. I'm still trying to come up with an appropriate name for him but I'll call him Mr. Ad for now. He's cute, nothing special. Alas, there's no intimate connection. It's one of those kinds you just want to hug and fuck.

As I was walking up Powell St to another open house, someone smiled at me. It was one of those friendly smiles and everything was covered in fog. I wandered off somewhere...

What is love?

I'm getting messages from this guy on Tinder. I offered him to grab a drink and this is what I get:

Me: Wanna grab a drink this week?
Him: Well it's different if you want to have a drink with me
Him: And I wit [sic] to have a life with you
Him: Our intentions emotions, testosterone and adrenaline rushes are different
Me: Yeah, yours are prolly overflooding all of Tinder right now
Him: :/
Him: I am sorry you [are] not feeling it

OK. This is crazy. Here's something nice to watch for you tonight:

Unresponsiveness

I've made a couple of dozen matches on Tinder. However, all of them want some sort of action happening on my side. One guy kept saying "I'm still trying to firgure my schedule out to meet. Such a busy week!" WTF?! I mean, if you're down to dating, you're down to dating. Fuck off, flakers! That's what I'm saying...

Mood: puzzled and frustrated.

Real Estate and Tinder

While we're planning some real estate non-sense deal with my parents, I'm trying out Tinder. Apartments by Dolores Park go for $5000 and up? Isn't that crazy? Look at this:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/4130028918.html

So, Tinder... They are way more cuter guys out there than OkC. Maybe that speaks to the fact that you cannot create elaborately stupid profiles talking how "I am in love with this city. Taking every minute to explore what this great city has to offer. Have I mentioned I live in SF"? No matter what the underlying cause is, the guys are cuter.

I have a possible date tomorrow with some dude who's still figuring his schedule out. He's "new in town." And I'm just going to call him that. Other than that, everyone's being lazy and relying on someone else to strike up the conversation, though the number of matches is definitely greater than OkC. We'll see where this goes.

Angry

I'm angry. On the upside, my semi-depressive mood has slowly segued into an action-prompting anger. However,

• I'm angry at people who act like assholes.
• I'm angry at the lack of sincerity in our daily communication.
• I'm angry at those who put their interest ahead of others at all times. 
• I'm angry because my thoughts are scattered like a broken stained glass.
• I'm angry because I've made some really poor decisions.
• I'm angry that I've listened to poor advices (see above).
• I'm angry because I beg to differ and I know better.

This year is finally coming to an end in two months and I can't wait for it to happen. I want to start with a clean slate, with an organized schedule and with someone new. Someone who will surprise me. And I want smiles. I want a cornucopia of smiles with a warm and cozy atmosphere to drown in, some invigorating sensation in the air. That's what I want. I want fireworks. 

Rescheduling nightmare

So, I was hoping to get a date this week just to mellow things out and see what other crazy nuts are out there. However, my crazy nuts seem to fall into some weird rescheduling mania. Maybe they're really too busy to spend an hour of their time on a drink, or just flakers in denial.

One guy, though, was quite grateful for my straight-forwardness and fast-paced move:

Initiative? Huh!

Meanwhile I'm planning a slow move to SF from Oakville, I'm getting this from Mr. Theatre almost a week after our "first date":

I think my friend was right in terms of the overwhelming abundance of socially awkward people on-line. I mean, if you're interested, c'mon, go and invite me somewhere? Huh?! If not, spice the chit-chat up! My BFF always tells me that if we resort to texting as the ultimate way of communication, we should at least make it entertaining. But mundane questions get mundane answers. There's really nothing else hindered here.

I got to thinking about my last awkward dating/co-habitational experience. What I am seeking right now is an emotional connection and I'm clearly not getting any. This is depressing.

On the upside, I have a date tomorrow at my favorite place in SF. I do hope it turns out to be something viable to segue into a second date.

That's a good one

Ok. Here's the thing. Being late for an hour? Not a good start! Getting drunk for an hour, a tolerable way to deal with circumstances. I sent him a text that I was leaving and his thirty minutes were up. However, he told me he'd get there in 10 minutes asking if I wanted to go to another place. Are you serious?! You're fucking an hour late and you want me to go somewhere else? No comments.

Setting tardiness aside, he actually turned out to be pretty cute. Too many mannerisms, though. We had a good dozen of laughs and stories to tell each other which is a good thing avoiding an awkward silence. Then, this:

Well... I don't see any eagerness. Is this a blow off or he's just being real? I'm not going to text him anything. That's just rude and I mean it.

Stop texting me, freak!

It's October already and I haven't properly reported on the recent gems I've stumbled upon in the online dating world.

Let's start with an obnoxious Mr. Jackpot. His texts sounded like he was interviewing me for an executive corporate position. Eventually, it led to asking "how can you afford living by yourself and traveling the world working part-time?" which lead me to telling him to stop financially profiling me and consequently blocking his sorry ass from ever texting/calling me again. Bye, freak!

Number two was christened Mr. Nurse. Some pretty self-loathing dude from Alabama who was on rotation in the-middle-of-no-where town in Arizona who came off as a pretty chill guy with little to somewhat insight into being nice and not overly awkward. Unfortunately, things started to unravel into the darker side pretty fast. Firstly, he asked if I had any friends he could fuck. Secondly, he started pixting me with his half-butt-naked photos: such a turn-on! Seriously? Where did all the romance and ingenuity go? To spice up the picture, he's still in AZ and I'm not sure if he's ever coming back to SF or even he actually lives here. Such a troll. Mr. Nurse, I'm sorry, but you are disposed of in a hazardous materials bin.

Number three and... Yes, I got drunk on a date but that was my only way out! A guy with a Ph.D. in Romance languages. Mr. Portuñol. Sounds promising, right? He kept me at bay for a couple of weeks or so before we could actually meet in person. I picked a great spot by Lake Merritt and we had decided on having Irish coffee prior to the date. I was enthused... not for long. After exhausting all possible things to talk about starting from his work to what kind of horror movies he liked, I was done. Literally, there was no initiative and no more than one-worded responses from him to my desperate attempts to burn up the conversation. I kept on drinking till I was ready to be carried out of the bar.

Finally, number four is Mr. Theater We have a date set up for tomorrow and I'm quite excited about that one. Not a lot of pre-date texting which is a good sign. He was initiative enough to suggest a few good spots to meet up in downtown SF, so I'm thinking there's definitely something to look forward to. Although, rescheduling two times in a row? Well, third time's the charm! Or, I'm simply being naïve.

I'm fascinated by your love, boy

Hey you, sleepless strangers!

Got myself to listening Company B's Fascinated tonight accompanied by Jim Beam's straight bourbon and Dreyer's whatever-flavored ice-cream. Anthony Portuguese (that's my Wednesday date) is silent tonight. Now sure if we are actually going to go through with our date. However, a new candidate has lit the horizon -- Andrew Dreyer. His surname is an homage to his obsessive talking about the Dreyer's flavor I picked for my binge eating tonight. Not sure if he's going to be anything special yet, since our conservation has been limited to whiskey and ice-cream flavors...

Anyhow, "I am fascinated by your love, boy." I keep dreaming and watching semis passing by my windows...

What happens when you are drunk and sleepless

My drunk and sleepless night led me to messaging 162 desperate online dwellers vs. 32 who actually typed up somewhat decent replies. Overall, my search looks semi-promising. It's amazing how much actual effort it takes to be able to A) get a phone number from a guy B) set up a date.

Speaking of flaking. SF is terrifyingly flaky in terms of dating, relationships and friendships. Take a guy I met a a month ago. Jake Bareback was very sweet and an excellent joker. Two minutes into our date, I've officially christened him as walking ADHD. He referred to himself as "high-energy" but I'm pretty positive it was just a euphemism. You know, one of those nice walks in the park when you are expecting to have a chill first-date conversation with your potential half. Unfortunately, a minute or two later you realize it is going to be a soliloquy. In any case, besides his preference for bareback sex coupled with verbal diarrhea, he was a professional flaker. During the first week of our encounter, we pixted some random stuff along with snarky comments, and set up a date at my place twice. He flaked both times. Interestingly enough, he was pretty responsive both times over text as if ignoring the fact he was to come by that night. Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice, shame on me.

Getting back to our okish cupids. There is this dude who seems promising. I'll call him Owl Dude for now since I don't really know much about him except for his favorite bird of prey for an ink. We texted yesterday exchanging pictures of each other. Today I popped the questions myself and he seemed invested enough to free up his schedule on Wednesday.

Dear Diary...

It's been a while since my last blogging experience. I can definitely say I've missed it! And now, after a roommate-night-slashing macabre I'm officially single both residentially and amorously. Which brings me to a new start in my dating life. So, what's out there?

My new experiment starts with OkC. So, far I've messaged 52 guys excluding my fake profile (I use it solely for torturing my ex). Over the course of three days, only 15 have actually replied. We'd traded numbers with one of them but it died out pretty quickly. I'm not sure how it is supposed to work. You text him, tell him your name, he texts you back and tells you his and... The curtain falls!

Two other guys: had pretty awesome conversations with both. Set up a date with one for tonight, gave him my phone number. No activity whatsoever. We'll see where this brings me by the end of this week.