#1
Mr. Clone from my Nob Hill open house, because he looks exactly like one of the guys I used to date, canceled on my Thursday invitation to go out. What's more surprising, he offered me to bring him breakfast the same instance, alluding to me being "heartbroken" because of his last-minute cancellation. Awkward. You cancel and then you want me to bring you something? Nah. That doesn't work that way. So, I just put a smiley in reply. That's the safest way to eject yourself from a conversation like that. He's probably going on a business trip somewhere but I didn't quite catch it. I'll keep him for now. Just pure entertainment.
#2
Since my Thursday night plans were under a major threat, I had to seek out an emergency substitution date. There was this Serbian guy I found on Tinder, sending me extraterrestrial signals the other day, I had kind of written him off. But! An emergency asks for desperate measures. So, I asked him if he wanted to go out. He agreed. A total loser. He kept staring at his cellphone, showed me a picture of his ex a couple of times admiring his ex's six-pack, and kept bragging about how awesome his social life was. Checked in on Facebook several times and kept taking pics of the club non-stop. He decided to end the night prematurely (we didn't even sit through the rest of the concert) and kissed me on the cheek.
The next morning I get a series of texts:
Mr. Serb: We're going out to ------ tonight. Or I can just blow you in the car.
Mr. Serb: But you have to show me your cock before I commit.
Me: You get an A in flirting!
Mr. Serb: I'm just subtle.
Me: So I've noticed.
I don't condone scabrousness. Sorry.
#3
The same day I got a message on OkC from a guy somewhere in Contra Costa County. He wanted to meet up and go on a date. I decided why not. Let's try out some suburban folks for a change. He asked me what kind of food I liked and we settled on an Italian restaurant in Walnut Creek. If would've been better if I had just stayed at home. He literally had three poor neurons desperate to get euthanized.
Chatted up with two guys on OkC tonight. Going on two dates tomorrow. Time will tell.
There's nothing like going on a date thinking "why not? I'll try something new and it might be amazing" like your #3, and then realizing it was a huge waste of time. Blurgh :)
ReplyDeleteTotally agree. I thought my new naive strategy of being more accessible to people would bring some new amazing experiences. But the reality is it's a waste of time. The more filters we create to weed out unnecessary dates, the better.
DeleteExactly. People give me crap for being too picky about men on paper, but there had to be some amount of screening. I don't have infinite time or energy!
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